So what is going on? Each side in this debate have things that are important to them…very important to them and may even have strong emotions attached to these ideals and values.
I said earlier a classic conflict because this is the structure of any battle, whether it is war, religious conflict, relationship woes, or even your own internal battles with yourself. There are two sides who cannot and will not agree with each other.
I do not know about you but I seem to find myself engaging in these battles on a daily basis. Procrastination is a great example, on the one hand I want to finish writing this blog while the other hand is taking me by the hand and walking me to the kitchen to do anything else that is not finishing the blog.
So what is going on? Intellectually I know I must finish the blog but in my gut I am feeling a little anxiety nibbling away at a slightly unconscious level. If you asked my why am I going to the kitchen I would be able to give you a string of good reasons (another word for excuses) as to why I am off to the kitchen. Not really acknowledging the anxiety because it is just out of my awareness. So you see here I have the same structure of conflict going on.
How can this conflict be resolved, either Croke Park or mine? Now just in case you are interested, I am not becoming a negotiator in Croke Park II. So it is best I focus on mine. Therefore I need to find a way to satisfy the values with their connected emotions of both, my goal at the intellectual level and my anxiety at the gut level. As they say “the devil is in the detail” and this is where is disagreement happens, at the level of the detail. So what I really need to do is get away from the detail, step back, look at the bigger picture and if necessary step back again and look at an even bigger picture until eventually having chunked up sufficiently both sides merge with the one higher value and for me that is being happy I have finished.